The Dustin Update
August 22, 2011 in This n' That 3 Comments »
I can’t brag about Morgan without talking about Dustin. It wouldn’t be fair and I can’t love one more than the other. You know what I am saying.
Anyway – as proud as I am of Morgan, I am 100 times prouder of my son. This has been a great year with him. He is finally “getting it” and working harder in school and has a goal. He ended the year with all A’s and B’s – this is first since 2nd grade.
Those of you following the podcast understand the struggles I have had with Dustin. I feel bad complaining at time because I know my problems could be so much worse. We have never had behavior issues and most teachers enjoy having him in their class. In the past it was because he was quiet and kept to himself. We never had a problem with test scores – he has always tested well above his grade level. Our problem has always been that he refused to do any class work or home work. And, what he did do, he wouldn’t turn in.
We tried everything. Every suggestion. Punishment. Reward. Nothing got through to him. The school was very little help because he was maintaining a “C” and never got in trouble – they could care less and never returned my calls or emails.
But this year, his Sophomore year, something was different. He did all his work and never missed an assignment. His teachers raved that he actually participated in class – raising his hand several times. The school added a way for me to monitor his progress online – even daily if I wanted. Dustin was grounded the entire school year for getting and F in Algebra; but we allowed him to earn days off grounding by doing A or B assignments. And it worked! Basically he was never grounded and I put a foot down to any missing assignment (failing an assignment was better than not turning it in).
He is now working on getting an academic scholarship to a Florida University! He will need practically straight A’s this year to make up for the screw up in the Freshman year – but he wants to work toward it. Can you believe it?! Two years ago I was loosing hope.
What is even better is the man he is turning into. He is kind, thoughtful, a leader who does his own thing, he is smart and has a great mind of his own. I am so lucky to be his mother.
One parental belief I have is to let your children be themselves. Let them find their own way and you just worry about the core values and point them in the right direction. That brings me to his hair.
Thanks for the update on Dustin. Your comments about him always reminded me of my son – bright and well behaved, but never applied himself. The teachers didn’t care – he wasn’t bothering anyone, as he sat there daydreaming. I’m still waiting for him to wake up and realize he has to apply himself. He’s 19 and working for awhile till he decides what to do.
My Matt also had long hair, in his eyes all the time. I thought he was developing a twitch, but it was just him flicking the hair out of his eyes!
We never bothered him about his hair. You’re only young once, and who knows, in 20 years he might be bald! One day, shortly after he graduated, he came home with it cut short – and it’s been short ever since.
He’s a good worker at his job (works with seniors, and they love him), he’s polite and good humoured, and not into drugs or drinking to excess – so we’re happy. His dad took a couple years after high school to settle down in a career path, so we expect he will too.
So glad to hear that Dustin is doing well and applying himself in school and a goal for the future! I have listened to each of your podcasts and while I don’t have a teenager (yet!) my heart always went out to you as a Mom, and how frustrating it is to see your child struggle but also knowing if they only applied themselves they could do and be so much more. So I know you’re all much happier these days, and I’m sending nothing but positive thoughts and energy your way that it keeps up all the way through to graduation!
Tanesha (CraftyGardenMom blog and podcast)
I am so glad to hear that Dustin is doing so well! I do remember the podcasts when you were having problems with him and I am so happy knowing he has his head on straight and going in the right direction!!
I have the same philosophy in raising my two boys. I try to teach them to have confidence, self-respect, to be kind and courteous- but they have to be their own person. And when you are watching your son growing up, that’s the most exciting part!
p.s. And I don’t think you had posted a picture of Dustin before. He looks so much like you!!